Ben E. C. Boyter's Blog

Regarding the Zombie Apocalypse (392 words)

This piece of content is taken from a comment I left on the TechZing podcast blog. I should note I have not even begun to explore issues such as what happens to a zombie in extreme heat or cold. Of course much of the below can be disregarded if the zombie virus is airborne, but this assumes the standard zombie canon of being spread through bites.

My take on the zombie apocalypse was always that it could never happen. The reasons being,

  1. The zombies primary enemy is also its main food source. This is like having to tackle a Lion every time you feel like eating a sandwich. You are going to get mauled.

  2. The zombies only method of reproducing is also biting its primary enemy. Again, every time you feel randy go tackle a Lion which has the intent to maul you. Keep in mind in order to be effective each zombie needs to bite at least 2 humans, which leads us nicely to…

  3. Humans are bloody good at killing things. This includes a great number of creatures which have far more effective killing implements then we were given by nature (Lions, Tigers, Bears, oh my!) I don’t know about you, but I am pretty sure I could take out 20 zombies in a car without too many issues. Quite a few people have cars. Certainly more then 1 in 20 people in a first world country do. Even if they only take out 2 zombies each we are ahead.

Add in all the gun nuts looking for something to shoot, people with medieval suits of armor (bite that zombie!), wannabe ninjas with swords, kung-fu experts, bomb nuts and the fact that a tank or even lightly armored vehicle is totally impervious to a zombie and I can’t see them lasting too long. Heck a mob armed with rocks only has to take out one zombie each to be effective as each zombie still needs to bite two before being stoned to death. You can see the numbers are clearly on our side. Even armed with sticks I can see humans winning this one.

Anyway that’s my thinking on this. What I find more scary is that there are people prepared for the zombie apocalypse and even worse is that quite a few of them would be hoping it will occur.